The Great Funk Whore

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
Prepare for a tale of abhorrent sin,
The most horrific of all that has been.
Bare witness the malice of the great Funk Whore
She gargl'd and choked, and begg'd them for more,
She flounder'd and flail'd in their seed on the floor,
Her husband came home and opened the door,
Get on the floor,
Everybody walk the dinosaur.

Valentine's Day, Bitch

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Shut the fuck up,
I'm talking to you.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I fucked your sister,
And I fucked your mum, too.

Roses are red,
Rhododendron are pink,
Clean up your cunt,
Because you fucking stink.

Roses are red,
And gifted yearly,
I'm only joking,
And I love you really.

Ew.

Ballad for the Children

So as I curl one out, this fateful day,
I hear the children, laughing at play,
Through the bathroom window, I hear one say
"I'll shank ya mom, bled"
And then the unmistakable rattle of the engine of a moped,
Which is probably insured in his father's name.

I grow tired of the noise, I've had enough of this shit,
I'm not impressed, not one little bit
So I acquire a gun
And then have my fun
I laugh as I imagine them fail to get into heaven
As I spray red hot death unto them with an AK47.